A.K.I.M.A.L.Y.A.H.Always Knowing Important Men And Ladies You Are Here

 

CASE DISMISSED

 

 

Sitting down having dinner with him at Old Country Buffet in Schenectady and everything going well until he told me, “Oh I go to court Thursday, the case is going to be dismissed.”  As I sat there with my mouth wide open, he is justifying his reasons why the courts should go ahead and do their job of dismissing the case:  “He served 6 months in a mental hospital; he was hurt by what he did to me; he can’t take the feelings; I can’t believe that I hurt you; you bringing on shame and guilt; you putting that thought of shame and guilt on me again why?; I got over it.” June 17, 2007

 

 

I sat there and listened to every word

But does it make a difference?

Should his feelings count?

Is this what this case has come to be

About, how he was able to deal?

Now he is the victim?

How did I make him the victim?

How did this get turned around

To where he is getting protected?

Where is the VICTIM connected?

Where is the evidence that was collected?

And now he tells me, “I need help

Because I need to accept it.”

How is it that my feelings

Are denied

And his feelings were

Projected?

Case dismissed

What a twist

He commits the crime

And I do the time

And if I come forward

Then I am being looked

at as dropping a dime.

A Dime on him.

6 months in mental

How coincidental

I guess I can commit a crime

Then get myself locked up in

Mental hospital

Avoid the sentence

It’s not about acceptance

You don’t get it; it’s the

Appearance.

But did you check into the

Performance.

Maybe the history

Quite a resemblance

But you didn’t give the victim

The chance

To enhance

The truth for real.

Instead with the defendant

You made a deal.

It would have been alright

If he would have killed

Because it’s not his ideal

It was drug willed

It doesn’t matter

That I am the VICTIM;

I still suffer

Or that I have to deal

With

Dissemblance.

Or that I stay in my home

Locked up.

It was the VICTIM

That you missed

In order for to arrange for  

CASE DISMISSED

 

 

 

IT HAPPENED LAST

 

YEAR

Just got off the phone with him telling me, “that because it happened last year and he didn’t hurt me physically that I shouldn’t put him in the same realm of what the other two or more abusers did to me.”  Oh because theirs were physical and his was more mental than anything.  His statement was, “I didn’t hurt you as bad as everyone else why are you putting me in with them?  You making me look like a monster!”  Yet early right after getting out of jail after five day stay, he told me, “OH I didn’t recognize what I did until Tuesday, but I was arrested on Saturday.”  June 17, 2007

 

 

He wants me to believe

That my safety is what I would

Have received.

And that I should be relieved.

Because he didn’t hurt me

Physically.

Now he understands my pain.

But what is it he trying to gain?

I know he has to go to court.

Now he wants to give me

Support.

For weeks I wanted understanding.

Compassion was something I

Was demanding.

“Get over it” was what he was

reprimanding.

Wanting the court to believe

He was going insane.

Don’t they know he knows

The game?

“Come on this happened last year.”

So what in my own home

I still have fear.

Not allowing anyone to come near.

Thinking about this whole

Things make me want to tear.

But I hold my emotions oh

So dear.

I can’t kick my emotions to the

Side they are here.

There is something I need you to

Hear.

This is not about you dear.

You need to take your attitude

And switch gear.

Let me put my feelings in the air.

Damn it this is not fair.

You should have thought about your

Feelings before

Going to honor court and acting like

You are mentally sick is

Not evening up the score.

It’s me who has to do this

I have to have on this emotional

Wear

So what it

HAPPENED LAST YEAR

 

 

SYSTEM AT FAULT

 

(Who’s the blame?)

 

 

How is it that everyone is at fault

But him?

It wasn’t me it was them?

They decided that your case

Was to be dismissed.

Oh that made me pissed.

Accountability

Why can’t you see

That’s what it takes.

This is not something I can

Just shake.

Like an turkey in an oven

Process takes

Time, Time for it to bake.

My feelings you just can’t rake.

They have to count.

This emotional stress you

Mount.

I didn’t’ do this to myself.

Now you want me to put this

My feelings on the shelf.

Now you saying its not your fault.

But you picked up and used.

Now responsibility you refuse.

You decided to abuse.

Now the system didn’t work for you

You can’t change things is your excuse.

Because my voice is lonely

You don’t see a change with me alone.

But did I the V ICTIM take you to

That crack zone?

Did I the VICTIM, tell you to

Cause the crime in my home?

So why? Why must you tell me to

Leave this alone?

Why must you point a finger?

They system would not be in this

If you would have not this.

Now you are looking for a twist.

And looking for a dismiss.

So you don’t have to deal.

Deal with your feelings.

Now whose running?

Time is coming.

No need for you to be

Bumming

Bumming all kinds

Excuses.

By telling me to let it

Go sis.

Wow what nerve.

Now you want to hit me

With this curve.

6 months in a mental

hospital

five days in jail

Now you want time serve

Are you serious?

I am just curious

I think you have gone

Delirious

Thinking I should just drop it

Oh that is making me furious.

Now you want to doctor me

And cop a plea

Why can’t you see

That you forgot about the

Most important person

Yes Me.

I think you ought

To think about what you did

It’s time for the real bid.

No longer use your

Mental status, where you tried

To hide

You ought

To release those thoughts.

Committed the crime

Time is you brought

And damn nit

No its not the

SYSTEMS FAULT