Volume 4 - Painful Tears
Volume 4 -
Painful Tears
Painful Tears is a deep book which consist of different writing that are coming from those tears that I refuse to let come out of me.
Enjoy the words as you get into the heart of a person who has some of those "Painful Tears" within her heart that so want to come out. It's a different way of healing from the inside out.
Are you holding on to some painful memories?
RECOGNIZE, IDENTIFY, RELATE,
EVAULATE, EDUCATE AND THEN VACATE ALL ABUSE
PAINFUL TEARS (A)
Written October 17, 2001
(Just settling down after returning from South Carolina being married to the husband that wanted to see me dead and raped me.)
My tears rolling down my face filled with part of the pain that is simming, storing and boiling up in my body.
It just refuse to leave I wake in another terrorized dream that has haunted me on and on since July 1, 2001.
I tried to hide it and keep it on inside, to keep anyone from knowing that deep down inside of me, there's so much pain and hurt just filtering in me.
Today I wake in fear again, wondering if it's real or not, or was it a dream again.
A tear it rolls down my cheek it doesn't want to stop this time, it continues past my jaw.
I want to stop it so it doesn't it's too late it has touched,
it dropped to a spot near my heart I didn't want it to touch there because I know it wouldn't go
any where else, it did it happened it seeped back into my heart.
My heart is filled with so many painful tears.
It's almost so full that when it happens then once another comes out,
it won't just stop with one this time or the next.
My body is crying day after day on the inside.
Why? If I let someone know of my painful tears, it may never stop.
I don't want cry anymore on the inside or out.
Painful tears it's time to stop simmering inside of me.
Painful tears where are you? Come out not all at once, but give me a chance to heal tears.
Crying is okay, it leads to not hating anymore. It leads to healing.
We have to turn those painful tears into tears of healing.
It's okay to heal, once the healing starts on the insdie,
on the outside will be more apt to relieve this hurt all together.
Painful tears, what's next? You have to stop crying now, it's causing too much hurt on the inside.
Another painful tear has arrived it's sitting at the back of my eye, it's rolling to the front, oops it came out,
painful tear is rolling down my face again, thsi time slowly as if its waiting for antoher tear,
oh, oh there's another one it has met up with the first.
I have to stop them, because if i don't it will go back in my heart. This time I'm going to stop it,
yep right here on my left cheek, I got them, you can't go back into my heart.
It hurts too much when it gets to my heart.
I tried to remain strong, cause I know it won't be long.
That I can't prolong, no this is not a song, those painful tears can't be wrong.
One day soon it's going to be all gone.
PAINFUL TEARS (B)
Written September 24, 2004
Painful tears
Throughout the years,
Blank and empty stares,
Nobody cares,
In me they put all these fears,
In my heart they continue to tear.
Your hurt, my hurt no one could compare.
This big smile I continue to wear.
But tremble inside if you come near!
The hurt inside of me I refuse to share.
The feelings I have are too much to bare.
My business I cannot air.
Get close to me don't you dare!
Painful tears, painful tears,
Come here!
The purpose of painful tears is to help me deal with the many tears that are sitting inside of me that refuse to come out. I believe that allowing myself to cry even after being away from the abusers for so many years, that will have control over me and making them win. It's not true I know but its this my defense mechanism that keeps me from crying. Meaning its my way of protecting me from them. So how do I cry and let things out? I cry through my writing.
Wake Up! It's All About You Foundation @ 2001 All Rights Reserved
Wake Up! It's All About You Foundation @ 2001 All Rights Reserved